B.I.O. Beauty Inside & Out

So last week while I was on the elliptical machine at my gym, the Tyra Show was on. Usually I don't watch the show just because sometimes I feel that Tyra can have a bit of a "me" complex. However being that the show was on, I figured I would watch it. It was her final week for the show and for the day she decided to talk about beauty.  Ever since the incident with her in the bathing suit, (the brown one piece) and her "kiss my fat ass" speech Tyra has been on a campaign to expand and broaden the beauty horizon beyond the media cookie cutter image. Some of you may go "please Tyra is pretty even when she is chunky," but this isn't about her, it's about the scrutiny that comes from media and people in society when we aren't a certain weight, height, body type.

I really thought this was a moving show because there are so many people who suffer from low self esteem. We are enforced by media to strive for perfection instead of health and fitness and happiness. This show also hit home for me because when I was younger, I was awkward and it wasn't fun.  

Confession time!-
When I was younger I never thought I was pretty and at times hated my body image. No boys never paid attention to me the way they paid attention to my friends. I hated my small chest and thick thighs and even sometimes my overall appearance and when I finally got a boyfriend I was so self conscious and jealous. To me, any girl who spoke to them liked them or had an ulterior motive. I even went through issues with my fiance about my issues of self esteem. He couldn't just say a girl was pretty without me getting all sorts of shades of green.

It was a constant struggle to be confident in myself. As I got older, I got prettier and more compliments but it just didn't click in my head. It didn't get through and it was frustrating for friends and John. After countless arguments about my issues I sat down and wrote down all the things I wanted for myself and after I finished the list, I realized that they were by far unrealistic and also that maybe I was being too hard on myself.  At that moment I decided that I would try to do things differently. I started accepting compliments instead of arguing them, I didn't automatically think that just because someone else was being complimented it meant that they were prettier than me or better than me. I looked at myself in the mirror and said "I am beautiful." The last thing I did was faking my confidence till I had it. By doing so I began to believe in myself and my appearance. I believed that I am a beautiful person inside and out and it truly helped me out of this trying time in my young life.

Now the main point of this blog entry is this. We are all going to have our bad days and we are going to have our good days. We are going to think that nothing looks on us on certain days and on other days we are going to think everything looks amazing on us. This is life. What we can't do is let those negative days take over. We also have to realize that there is no one definition of beauty. Like Tyra said, there are all sorts and types of beauty and it cannot be defined by one image.

Me without any sort of makeup =)

How to help yourself with body issues and self esteem issues:
1)If you feel that you have issues with your image or your confidence, talk to someone, but don't talk to someone to fish for compliments. This method doesn't work because you'll always want more and feed into the cycle of having to have people compliment you or else you feel ugly. We don't want that. If you have a problem, a real image problem talk someone close and have them listen. Tell them that this is a problem and that you need help.

2)If you don't like the way you feel physically or feel that you're heavy or overweight do the right thing. Watch what you eat, be active, and take care of yourself. You will come to find that these things will be beneficial to you in the long run. DON'T compare yourself to someone else. Don't try to achieve someone else's body. You are your own person. In fact maybe if you start working out, you'll come to find that you love it! Or maybe finding different healthy ways to cook can help fuel a cooking passion. But one thing is for sure, you need to want this, no one else can do this for you except yourself. You cannot expect results from nothing, starvation, or pills. It's harmful and can be detrimental to you. Just because you are not a size 2 does not mean you aren't healthy or beautiful.

3) Do what I did. Fake it till you got it. Many may not believe that it works but it does! When you get a compliment, accept it. Don't argue against it, again it makes it seems like you're fishing. Strut down the street when you feel good about yourself or even when you don't. By believing in yourself you exude positive energy and create a better well being for yourself. In adopting a positive attitude you'll come to realize that compliments are given because they are deserved and that people like you for you not a person you're trying to be! 

Bottom line is be comfortable in your own skin. It's the only one you have and you can't exchange it because we don't come with receipts. 

A favorite quote of mine is "There's only one me in the galaxy, I am an endangered species." It's true. There's only one of you and you are beautiful.
Believe in yourself and anything is possible =)


  1. Very inspiring entry here.
    I'm having all this problem too. Being the over jealous gf just because I have no confidence. I fought with bf just because he praised someone on TV as pretty.
    I'll be heading ur advice on faking the confidence! Hope it'll help me.

  2. I loved this post! I hope more girls realize that nearly everyone went through an awkward phase and an ugly phase. We should try to be proactive at loving ourselves and being happy!

    Very inspirational!

  3. I'm one of those who suffered from the 'my friends are prettier than me' complex. It lead to a pretty warped life for a teenager. Doesn't help that I'm not entirely photogenic either.

    I hope you've acknowledged the fact that you're GAWJUS. :)

  4. very inspirational! I loved how you said "you'll come to realize that compliments are given because they are deserved and that people like you for you not a person you're trying to be!" I've always had a hard time with compliments b/c I never believed them but I'll be taking your advice.

    you are gorgeous and amazing!

  5. What an inspiring blog post! =] Glad you wrote this, a lot of girls (even guys) will come across this and I hope they feel better about themselves and start accepting compliments. I had a hard time since middle school but it's my asian family... I will always have to deal with it even if I become the image they want me to... they'll probably be never happy and always criticize something. You're beautiful without makeup sweetie! (no lie)

  6. oh love.

    You put this into words so well that I'm having trouble telling you how heart warming that was. I think it's lovely for us to empathize with each other-- recognize and understand that everyone has insecurities. Facing them head on is an important part of growing out of our shells.

    Changing how we see ourselves is a lifestyle change. It takes time and hard work, but the end result is well worth it.

    I personally am still working on that right now. I've been with the bf for 2.5 years, and I still feel insecure when he talks about wanting to hang out with female friends. Sad, but true. I'm trying. Accepting ourselves for who we are, and changing the things we are unsatisfied with, seems a life-long process.

  7. I love all you girls! and thank you for such wonderful feedback. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside =). You guys are great seriously!

  8. girl - such a great entry!! thank you for sharing your experience from the heart and giving advice to those who need it. i think many people struggle with self-image and self-esteem. I went through it during my middle school year, but realized HEY - i'm made the way I am - all i can change is my attitude and inner-self. The way i treat others and myself. ^_^

  9. so true! what does "beautiful" have to be less than 100lbs, 5'9, blond hair, blue eyes? I'm not a huge fan of Tyra but i do love that she is encouraging women to see themselves differently. I was the same as you... when i first started dating my bf, i would totally get jealous when he'd find other girls pretty or mentioned an ex of his. Eventually, i realized that him thinking another girl was pretty didn't mean he was going to leave me and he thought i was ugly or something. haha! silly me... so over that!!! :D

  10. aww lovely post. yeah there is def a stereotypical version of "beautiful" for all races. and highschool was tough for that! Anyways I do think most people can look great as there's always something physically attractive about everyone, whether it's their smile or eyes etc.

  11. Hi there pretty girl!

    I read this post the day you wrote and I've been thinking about it ever since. It hits very close to home. In fact it applies to my wife. As a teenager, she got mad when guys flirted with her because she thought they were making fun of her somehow. I had to work like crazy to break through her protective shell. Later she would say she couldn't believe "someone like you would be interested in someone like me".

    I thought she grew out of it--with me being supportive. Once in a while she would make comments, but I thought she was joking. If I talked with a female cashier in the grocery store, my wife would later say that either she was flirting with me or I was flirting with her. I thought it was a joke. When I talked with a male cashier, I would later apologize to my wife for my "going gay". I'd laugh about it and she'd smack my arm.

    But now I've found out she's not joking. She never was. I CAN'T say a girl is pretty...now I can't even say "she's not ugly" without my wife being unhappy about it. Short of quitting my job, never leaving the house, and never talking to another girl, I don't know how to help her.

    Would it be okay if I printed your post and shared it with her? I can't give her the link--she would get mad about how pretty you are. Seh can't understand that other girls being pretty or not have nothing to do with her.

  12. love this posttttttttt! check out my blog as well!

    jen @ www.charmoflove.ca


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