So last week while I was on the elliptical machine at my gym, the Tyra Show was on. Usually I don't watch the show just because sometimes I feel that Tyra can have a bit of a "me" complex. However being that the show was on, I figured I would watch it. It was her final week for the show and for the day she decided to talk about beauty. Ever since the incident with her in the bathing suit, (the brown one piece) and her "kiss my fat ass" speech Tyra has been on a campaign to expand and broaden the beauty horizon beyond the media cookie cutter image. Some of you may go "please Tyra is pretty even when she is chunky," but this isn't about her, it's about the scrutiny that comes from media and people in society when we aren't a certain weight, height, body type.
I really thought this was a moving show because there are so many people who suffer from low self esteem. We are enforced by media to strive for perfection instead of health and fitness and happiness. This show also hit home for me because when I was younger, I was awkward and it wasn't fun.
Confession time!-
When I was younger I never thought I was pretty and at times hated my body image. No boys never paid attention to me the way they paid attention to my friends. I hated my small chest and thick thighs and even sometimes my overall appearance and when I finally got a boyfriend I was so self conscious and jealous. To me, any girl who spoke to them liked them or had an ulterior motive. I even went through issues with my fiance about my issues of self esteem. He couldn't just say a girl was pretty without me getting all sorts of shades of green.
It was a constant struggle to be confident in myself. As I got older, I got prettier and more compliments but it just didn't click in my head. It didn't get through and it was frustrating for friends and John. After countless arguments about my issues I sat down and wrote down all the things I wanted for myself and after I finished the list, I realized that they were by far unrealistic and also that maybe I was being too hard on myself. At that moment I decided that I would try to do things differently. I started accepting compliments instead of arguing them, I didn't automatically think that just because someone else was being complimented it meant that they were prettier than me or better than me. I looked at myself in the mirror and said "I am beautiful." The last thing I did was faking my confidence till I had it. By doing so I began to believe in myself and my appearance. I believed that I am a beautiful person inside and out and it truly helped me out of this trying time in my young life.
Now the main point of this blog entry is this. We are all going to have our bad days and we are going to have our good days. We are going to think that nothing looks on us on certain days and on other days we are going to think everything looks amazing on us. This is life. What we can't do is let those negative days take over. We also have to realize that there is no one definition of beauty. Like Tyra said, there are all sorts and types of beauty and it cannot be defined by one image.
Me without any sort of makeup =)
How to help yourself with body issues and self esteem issues:
1)If you feel that you have issues with your image or your confidence, talk to someone, but don't talk to someone to fish for compliments. This method doesn't work because you'll always want more and feed into the cycle of having to have people compliment you or else you feel ugly. We don't want that. If you have a problem, a real image problem talk someone close and have them listen. Tell them that this is a problem and that you need help.
2)If you don't like the way you feel physically or feel that you're heavy or overweight do the right thing. Watch what you eat, be active, and take care of yourself. You will come to find that these things will be beneficial to you in the long run. DON'T compare yourself to someone else. Don't try to achieve someone else's body. You are your own person. In fact maybe if you start working out, you'll come to find that you love it! Or maybe finding different healthy ways to cook can help fuel a cooking passion. But one thing is for sure, you need to want this, no one else can do this for you except yourself. You cannot expect results from nothing, starvation, or pills. It's harmful and can be detrimental to you. Just because you are not a size 2 does not mean you aren't healthy or beautiful.
3) Do what I did. Fake it till you got it. Many may not believe that it works but it does! When you get a compliment, accept it. Don't argue against it, again it makes it seems like you're fishing. Strut down the street when you feel good about yourself or even when you don't. By believing in yourself you exude positive energy and create a better well being for yourself. In adopting a positive attitude you'll come to realize that compliments are given because they are deserved and that people like you for you not a person you're trying to be!
Bottom line is be comfortable in your own skin. It's the only one you have and you can't exchange it because we don't come with receipts.
A favorite quote of mine is "There's only one me in the galaxy, I am an endangered species." It's true. There's only one of you and you are beautiful.
Believe in yourself and anything is possible =)
